Some moments stay with you, making you look back and really think. When thinking about what I want in a man, I made a list. Not necessarily a checklist. It was more of a list of things that are non-negotiable.
When I originally made my list around the age of 24, I had crafted some perfect man who I later found does not exist. I later revised it after learning a few things.
Either way, one thing I put on my list was “no fatties.”
I truly don’t have a problem with people who are overweight. I mean, I grew up as “the fat girl” in middle school. I didn’t say this to be mean to anyone. However…
While reading a book called His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage, Willard E. Harley practically spoke right to me. In it, he said that it’s a legitimate need of some men and women to have a spouse with a fit body and a beautiful or handsome face.
I finally had proof; written proof that I wasn’t being shallow for saying that I require my man to have a nice body and a handsome face.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I’ve let go of prejudices I once leaned on to make myself feel better about my own shortcomings. That hurt little girl has healed and learned to love people all over again.
But the other day…
My errands for work took me to a bank tower. We had received a piece of mail for someone in that building. There were two very nice guys sitting behind the security desk; one was well into his 50s, while the other was a younger guy, probably about my age.
The younger guy caught my eye. His dark hair was a great contrast against his bright blue eyes. He was smiling at me like I was one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. Of all days, the other day. It was hot outside, so my hair was back. I was sweating, so my hair was sticking to me. I didn’t take the time to wear any make-up at all that day. Oh, and I had a huge zit on my cheek, next to my nose. It was so big, in fact, that when my mom saw it later, she asked, “What happened?!?” How was I anything beautiful at that moment?
I noticed that the younger guy was overweight.
When I originally made my list, I remember feeling a sense of disgust at the thought of a heavy man. But I had body issues of my own. I was only reflecting my own insecurities and putting down overweight men in my mind.
Today, when the guy was looking at me, I didn’t care that he was overweight. He was beautiful. He was handsome. He was happy. The guy’s happiness and smile overshadowed any extra poundage.
Now that I’m happy in life, I don’t judge people. I don’t put them down, even in my own thoughts.